Deep Into The Space

Dialogue or letters in Three Billboards movie


My darling Anne,

There's a longer letter in the dresser drawer I have been writing for the last week or so. That one covers us and my memories of us and how much I have always loved you. This one just covers tonight, and more importantly, today.

Tonight I have gone out to the horses to end it. I cannot say sorry for the act itself, although I know that for a short time you will be angry at me, or even hate me for it. Please don't. This is not a case of "I came in this world alone, and I'm going out of it alone" or anything dumb like that. I didn't come in this world alone, my mom was there, and I am not going out of it alone, cos your are there, drunk on the couch, making Oscar Wilde cock jokes.

No. This is a case, in some senses, of bravery. Not the bravery of facing a bullet down; the next few months of pain would be far harder than that small flash. No, it is the bravery of weighting up the next few months of still being with you, stilling waking up with you, of playing with kids, against the next few months of seeing in your eyes how much my pain is killing you; how my weakened body as it ebbs away and your tend to it are your final and lasting memories of me. I won't have that.

Your final memories of me will be us at the riverside, and that dumb fishing game which I think they cheated at, and me inside of you, and you on top of me, and barely a fleeting thought of the darkness yet to come. That was the best, Anne. A whole day of not thinking about it. Dewll on this day, baby, cos it was the best day of my life.

Kiss the girls for me and know that I've always loved you. And maybe I will see you again if there's another place. And if there ain't, well, it's been Heaven knowing you.

Your boy, Bill...


Jason, Willoughby here. I'm dead now, sorry about that, but there's something I wanted to say to you that I never really said when I was alive.

I think you've got the makings of being a really good cop, Jason, and you know why? Because, deep down, you are a decent man. I know you don't think I think that, but I do, dipshit.

I do think you're too angry, though... And I know it's all since your dad died and you had to go look after your Mom and all... But as long as you hold onto so much hate then I don't think you're ever going to become... What I know you wanna become... A Detective.

Cos you know what you need to become a detective. And I know you're gonna wince when I say this... But what you need to become a detective is Love. Because through Love comes Calm, and through Calm comes Thought. And you need Thought to detect stuff sometimes, Jason. It's kinda all you need. You don't even need a gun. And you definitely don't need Hate. Hate never solved nothing... But Calm did. And Thought did. Try it. Try it just for a change. No-one will think you'are gay. And if they do, arrest 'em for homophobia. Won't they be surprised!

Good luck to you, Jason. You're a decent man, and yeah you've had a run of bad luck... But things are gonna change for you... I can feel it.

Posted by Theodorus Zhou on 2018-03-04.